Improper Artifact Use for Fun and Entertainment
by InuGhost2.0
Summary: Artie's off on vacation and has left Warehouse 13 in the hands of Pete, Myka and Claudia. Shortly afterwards the three decide to ransack the warehouse for artifacts that they can use for entertainment or to make their lives easier. What mayhem will ensue?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Improper Artifact Use for Fun and Entertainment

By: InuGhost2.0

7/28/10

Summary: When Artie's away the Agents and Claudia will play with the artifacts. See what hijinks and trouble they cause when they screw around with the artifacts.

**Disclaimer: Now honestly if I actually owned Warehouse 13 then this wouldn't be a story online, it'd be an actual episode. **

It was a time of celebration at Warehouse 13. After days and hours of hard toil Pete, Myka and Claudia had achieved the impossible. They had managed to convince their boss Artie to take a vacation.

Claudia had come across Artie's file one day while attempting to organize his office and had been unsurprised to discover the man's last vacation had been back when Regan had been in office. Armed with the evidence Claudia had managed to secure Peter and Myka's help in convincing Artie that he needed a vacation. It had taken more than a little work to convince him that they could handle daily management of the warehouse by themselves.

Pete and Claudia had just returned from dropping Artie off at the airport. Entering the warehouse the two passed through security reentering Artie's office. Neither was surprised to see Myka bent over a table focusing solely on finishing her case report.

"Geez Myka haven't you finished your report yet? We left you over an hour ago. That should have been more than enough time." Pete japed as he sat down across from Myka.

"Well I might have finished it long ago, except someone left before they finished their report so I had to finish theirs also." Myka snapped back glaring at Pete while slamming her pen down on the table. "Next time you can finish your own damn report."

As Myka abruptly got to her feet a loud bang echoed through the office as her chair toppled over. "I'm taking the rest of the day off. Want to come with me Claudia we could go shopping."

"Thanks Myka, but with Artie gone I can finally do some work on upgrading my Farnsworth. Plus I can finally take an unrestricted look around this place. Who knows what fun little artifacts I might find in there." Claudia grinned as she looked out the window at the interior of the warehouse.

Myka had to concede that point to Claudia. Artie probably did not even know the full effects or usability of more than half the artifacts stored in the warehouse. And given the properties of the few artifacts that she and Pete had dealt with it was more than likely that Claudia would find something that would keep her occupied for a few hours. "Ok then I'll just go shopping on my own." Grinning she grabbed her purse off the end of the table and rushed out the door before Pete or Claudia could stop her.

Several hours later Claudia looked up feeling satisfied. For the last two hours she had been hard at work upgrading her Farnsworth. Using the blueprints as a diagram she had managed to install a better ring tone onto it. She had even managed to find an old artifact in the warehouse that pulled signals out of the air, and after installing it into the Farnsworth and a couple of tweaks she had managed to hook herself up to the internet. A feat that she was particularly proud of accomplishing. As she wiped sweat from her brow she looked around the office slightly surprised that Pete was nowhere in sight.

When Claudia had first began working on her little project Pete had decided to stay with her to help keep her company. He had managed to keep himself entertained after discovering that Artie had somehow managed to spirit away Pete's stuff and had it sitting hidden in his room situated above his office at the warehouse. Pete had grumbled out a few choice words about the middle-aged agent before making himself comfy in Artie's chair with several of his favorite comic books.

Getting out of her seat she headed over to the door leading into the warehouses interior opening the door she cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled "Pete? Yo Pete where are you at?"

"No need to yell so loudly Claudia." Coming down the stairs from Artie's room Pete subconsciously rubbed at his mouth as he gave Claudia a strange look. "What's the matter I was only gone for a couple minutes?"

Rolling her eyes Claudia tucked a stray lock of hair back behind her ear. "I finished updating my Farnsworth and was going to do some inventorying of the warehouse want to…what's that on your face?"

As she had been talking to the Secret Service agent she had noticed a strange dark speck on his cheek. Moving quickly, at least fast enough so Pete couldn't react, Claudia ran her thumb over the patch of skin the dark speck was on. Looking at the speck it looked highly familiar though to be certain she licked the speck off her finger.

Rich, moist and chocolaty, greeted Claudia's taste buds as she placed her hands on her hips and gave her colleague a look of pure hate. "Where the hell did you get this?"

"Sweat beaded on Pete's brow as he desperately tried to think of a halfway decent to give Claudia. "Uh…um…I have no idea what you're talking about." Pete stated weakly. Already he felt ashamed of coming up with such a lousy excuse, and partly wished that the floor would just open up and swallow him whole so he wouldn't have to deal with the shame.

"Peter Latimer if you do not tell me this instant where you got a piece of chocolate cake from then I will get out the handcuffs that I used to kidnap Artie and I will use them on you, and I promise you that I won't be putting them on your wrists!" By this point she had backed Pete into a corner and emphasized each word with a sharp jab of her finger into his chest.

Pete Latimer was now scared for his life. Claudia's threat along with the wild look in her eyes scared him to the core, more so than any of the duties he'd performed since becoming a warehouse agent. "Artie's office, he's got an artifact up there that will produce any kind of food you want in exchange for putting something inside it." He babbled out.

"Trust Artie to figure a way around Leena's diet." Claudia was more than a little upset. In an effort to make sure Artie lost weight Leena had put everyone at the bed and breakfast on his same strict diet. The last week and a half had been utter agony for Claudia. Cut off from her usual food she had found it difficult to maintain her cheerful upbeat attitude.

Leaving Pete where he was Claudia headed upstairs and quickly located the artifact in question. 'He must have been really desperate to resort to Martha Stewart's Easy-Bake Oven.' She thought as she reached into her pocket. Pulling out a collection of pocket lint and a couple coins she Claudia proceeded to throw a penny into the machine. "Give me a triple layer Chocolate Lava cake." She wished as she pushed the button.

A low hum issued from the machine for several seconds before it dinged loudly. Opening the oven door Claudia grinned broadly as she pulled out the fresh baked cake. Scooping up some of the sauce she tentatively licked it before moaning loudly in delight. "Delicious."

Claudia proceeded to throw restraint out the window as she practically inhaled the cake all the while savoring every delicious bite. Now that it was gone she contemplated what Artie had done. He had chosen to disregard warehouse rules by using that Easy-Bake Oven for his own purposes. As such he wouldn't be in any position to lecture her if she chose to play around with the less dangerous artifacts. Hell it would be a good way to pass the time, and if even one of them proved to be as useful as that oven then it would be well worth it.

Her decision made Claudia headed down stairs. "Hey Pete want to join me in ransacking the warehouse for some artifacts to goof off with?" She yelled out as she shut the door to Artie's room behind her.

**Please review. Comments are greatly appreciated along with constructive criticism, thoughts, and ideas for other artifacts that Pete and Claudia can screw around with. Remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I'm glad to see people like the premise of this story. And I promise to try and keep this entertaining and updated on a regular basis. Provided I don't get buried under homework, real life, and my own mind. (Sighs) Sometimes it's a pain being me. Anyway before I forget credit goes to Terra Young for the paintbrush artifact that appears in this chapter. And in case any of you were wondering Artie has Pete's stuff since there was little reason in not sneaking it out of the post office when they had the chance. He just hasn't had a chance to give it to the guy yet.

_Disclaimer: Sadly I still don't own anything that appears in this. Though that will hopefully change once I use a large bag of coins to make a few wishes in the fountain at the mall. That or maybe I'll get lucky and we'll get an episode where we can see Claudia, Myka, and Pete in swimsuits. _

"I tell you if I didn't know better then I'd swear this place gets bigger overnight." Pete grumbled as he followed behind Claudia.

Ever since Claudia had decided the two would walk up and down the warehouse's endless aisles, as opposed to taking Edison's Bio-Energy Vehicle like Pete wanted, the male agent had loudly voiced his complaints every couple of minutes.

Turning to look back at Pete Claudia offered him a smile. "You could be right. Whenever the Old Man has me taking inventory it always takes longer than it did the last time."

"And that has nothing to do with the fact that you get bored partway through taking inventory and find something else to occupy yourself with."

Claudia rolled her eyes at Pete's comment as she began scanning along the shelves looking at the various artifacts and their effects. She already knew every artifact that were on the shelves in this part of the warehouse, given how close it was to Artie's office, but with her natural curiosity she couldn't resist seeing if an artifact had managed to be overlooked before. No new artifacts made their presence known and Claudia couldn't help but feel slightly let down for a moment. This was a place where the lines between reality and fantasy blurred and anything seemed possible. Though it failed to work whenever she was bored, which was becoming more and more frequent with how often Artie had her doing mundane tasks around the warehouse.

Sighing quietly Claudia began to walk deeper into the warehouse when the sound of something wooden hitting the floor reached her ears. Turning around she quickly spotted the source of the disturbance. A three meter long wooden rod lay ignored at Pete's feet in favor of a small golden circular disc that he clutched in his hands.

Being a few feet away Claudia couldn't readily id the artifact that Pete held in his hands. A small notch at the bottom of the disc showed where it had come free from the rod, likely when Pete had picked it up. The golden disc fit comfortably in Pete's hand as he idly ran his thumbs over the engraving that marred it's otherwise unadorned surface. As Pete held it up to the light to get a better look at it Claudia noticed a flash of red light issuing from the large ruby set in the exact center of the disc. In that instant Claudia recognized the artifact and a shiver of terror raced down her spine as her feet propelled her at the agent. "Pete you idiot point that thing away from you!" Grabbing Pete's hands Claudia managed to point the disc skywards before the world was engulfed in a ball of fire.

A bright flash of light momentarily blinded the two as a large fireball exited the disc with a loud WHOOSH! Rocketing upwards the fireball easily tore through the roof of the warehouse heralded by the loud painful cries of metal tearing as it disappeared into the twilight sky.

"Well I guess that answers what the Staff of Ra does. Too bad it didn't do that in the movie. Would have been cool to see Indy roast a few of those Nazi's with it." Shielding his eyes Pete looked up at Warehouse 13's new skylight. "Do you think Artie's going to notice that hole when he gets back from vacation?"

"Oh I'm pretty certain he's going to notice it right away. He's got a sixth sense about these things." Claudia commented dryly. A ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she imagined the look on Artie's face when he discovered it especially since she wouldn't be the one getting in trouble for once.

Bending down she picked up the headpiece from where it had fallen during the commotion. Lifting up her shirt Claudia tucked it into the waistband of her jeans before lowing her shirt back down to ensure the headpiece didn't get activated again by light before it was reattached to the staff. Grabbing the staff off the ground she placed both items back onto the shelf before continuing on her way down the aisle. "Come on Pete you can worry about that later. We're not done exploring yet."

Sparing one last look at the hole in the roof Pete sighed and ran a hand through his hair before he took off after the redheaded teen. For a moment he lost sight of the teen as she visibly sped up and ducked around a corner into a different warehouse aisle. Breaking into a slow jog Pete reached the intersection where Claudia turned at and stopped as he looked around for the former delinquent.

Not spotting the teen Pete cupped his hands around his mouth "Claudia! Hey Claudia where are you!"

Hurried footsteps and a giggle were all the warning Pete had as something wet and sticky ran up the middle of his back. Turning around he spotted Claudia whistling a nameless tune with her hands behind her back as her gaze wandered over the nearby artifacts.

Feeling Pete's eyes on her Claudia looked at the agent and grinned. "Love the new look Pete. It's very…" she paused for a second searching for the right words "fashionable for you."

Looking down Pete's eyes widened in horror as he took in the sight of his favorite T-shirt. Its usual gray and faded appearance with the logo of his favorite basketball team had been replaced with a horrible bright pink monstrosity of a shirt. Below that his blue jeans now had white stripes running along its entire length ending at his now polka dot socks.

As he tried to figure out which artifact had caused this fashion disaster he heard a soft plopping sound. Looking towards Claudia he saw a spreading puddle of black and white paint forming behind her.

"This is the kind of stuff that can happen if you're not careful around artifacts Pete. You've got to make sure to read what they do before you decide to play around with them." Grinning at the agent Claudia was unprepared as he leapt towards her. Before she could react he managed to grab hold of her hands, and liberate the artifact she had been hiding behind her back.

"Salvador Dali's Paintbrush. If I remember right this little thing can change the color of any object to one of the artist's choosing. Shall we see how you look in pastels Claudia?" Pete grinned evilly as he slowly advanced on the white faced teen.

With her intellect Claudia had always managed to think her way out of any situation. Barring of course that one incident with Volta's lab coat where she had ended up becoming a human magnet and needed Artie to rescue her, oh and that other time when she'd gotten trapped in the Bed and Breakfast Painting with Myka and Pete. However at this time her mind utterly and spectacularly failed to come up with a solution. So with her mind mentally yelling 'Crap I would look horrible in pastels!' and 'what are you still doing standing her you idiot, RUN!' Claudia took of running as though her life depended on it all the while yelling "Pete come on it was a joke! Ha-ha. Really funny right. No need to take this personally!"

Pete gave Claudia a few seconds head start before giving off an evil laugh worthy of any movie villain before he took off after the redhead chuckling evilly all the while.

**Elsewhere**

Myka felt pretty pleased with herself. Sure she had to drive over an hour to get here, but it had been well worth it. The mall she had discovered had a wide variety of stores, at least ½ of which had been having sales and were ones Myka would normally shop at if she were still back at Washington.

Laden down with packages and slightly exhausted from the enjoyable experience Myka headed out into the empty parking lot towards her car. At the last minute she had decided to buy a few things for her friends and had gone back into the mall after she had deposited the stuff purchased only for her into the car. Now with her shopping done Myka briefly wondered how she was going to fit all these extra bags into the car before she deciding that she'd make it work somehow.

Halfway to her car Myka set down her bags as she began digging through her purse looking for the keys. 'Damn it's so dark out here. What I wouldn't give for a little extra light.' She mentally grumbled.

As if in answer to her prayers the surrounding area lit up with a bright red glow as a distant rumble shook the area. Looking up Myka's mouth dropped open in shock at seeing a large ball of fire hurtling down from the heavens at her. As her life flashed before her eyes Myka said her final prayers and regretted how she would never see her friends again. Now mentally prepared Myka watched as the fireball fell down, down, down and hit its target, her car, dead center.

As she watched her car and all her purchases go up in flames Myka felt a moment of relief that her life hadn't come to a fiery end. She was so relieved that she began laughing at how scared she had been despite her earlier brushes with death as a Secret Service agent. It wasn't until a little voice in the back of her head asked 'where on Earth did that fireball come from?' that she stopped laughing and a few seconds later growled out "Lattimer you are going to pay for this."

**A/N**: That's all for now. Feel free to let me know what you thought of this chapter, along with ideas for other artifacts for this story. Now if you'll excuse me I need to review some of the past Warehouse 13 episodes so I can hopefully figure out just what HG Wells is planning, along with why she was bronzed in the first place. Oh and remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: If I actually owned Warehouse 13 then the seasons would be more than 13 episodes long, and there would likely be several more crossover episodes with Eureka for fun, and to develop Fargo's relationship with Claudia.

"Ok, Ok Pete I'm sorry. Now give me that paintbrush so I can fix our outfits." Claudia pleaded from underneath Pete. The agent had finally managed to catch up to her and had performed a flying tackle which had successfully stopped the teen cold. Once Pete was certain that Claudia was helpless he had run the paintbrush over her clothes a couple times drastically changing the colors.

"Yeah I guess you've learned your lesson now." Pete got up off of Claudia and offered her a hand up before he handed her the paintbrush.

Claudia grimaced at her outfit which was now dominated by an assortment of bright pink, green, yellow, and white and clashed horribly with itself. Closing her eyes she remembered how she normally looks as she ran the brush down along her waist and up the side of her body. In seconds her clothes were back to their original colors. After looking and being satisfied with the changes made Claudia again raised the brush up and ran it over a part of her hair turning the green streak in it to a light vibrant yellow.

"It's a lot cheaper and healthier for my hair to change it this way as opposed to using dyes." Claudia stated noticing the look Pete was giving her.

Looking around Pete was slightly surprised at their current location. During their long chase the two had traveled far from where they had initially started out and were now in the section of the warehouse set aside for recently acquired artifacts that were relatively harmless, unless they were grossly misused in some way. As he looked around at the various artifacts he noticed one in particular that he had never seen before.

"Just what is this thing" Reaching onto the shelf he struggles to extract a large stone hammer that is resting heavily on the shelf. Shifting it around a bit, and with a lot of effort he finally manages to extract it and holds it in his hands.

"Not certain. Artie claims it is Thor's Hammer, but it hasn't displayed any artifacty powers yet that I'm aware of."

"Well if it's in here, then there is probably a good reason for it. Best not insult it lest you want it to smite you." Pete joked as he held it up in the air above his head.

Whether from the position he had placed the hammer in, or the words he used the hammer finally displayed evidence of its powers. With a loud crack a bolt of lightning shot out of the hammer and zoomed straight for the hole in the Warehouses' roof. Once free of the warehouse the lightning bolt headed unerringly for its target.

As Claudia and Pete looked towards the hole the loud boom of thunder was heard followed by a steady stream of rain falling onto and into the warehouse.

"We have so got to get that hole fixed." Claudia commented as she watched a proverbial waterfall come through the hole and start filling the warehouse.

"Well at least we know what it does now."

**Elsewhere**

Outside of Warehouse 13 a lone taxi pulled up. Looking at the giant warehouse the driver was somewhat uncertain about dropping his passenger off in such a desolate area, especially since it had started raining. A blast from the Tesla quickly solved that problem as Myka gathered her bags and exited the taxi in a hurry intent upon getting her revenge on Pete. Reaching into her purse she extracted a small artifact that she had liberated from the warehouse in the event of a dire emergency. However given the destruction of her vehicle and the majority of the items she had purchased Myka was more than willing at this point to use the artifact for revenge.

A/N: That's all for now. Sorry that it's so short, but I haven't been feeling the best lately. The next chapter should be regular sized though. Anyway suggestions for artifacts are always welcome and remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry about not posting this last week. I unfortunately got busy doing other things and never got around to writing this chapter till it was to late. Also credit to 'Ree' for a couple of the artifacts in this chapter. And were it not for the fact that I don't want to use up all the artifacts in a single chapter I'm going to start spreading them out. So other suggested artifacts will appear in later chapters. **

**A/N 2****nd****: Oh one last thing before this story begins a plate of warm oven baked chocolate chip cookies and recognition in the next chapter to anyone who can correctly ID the owner of the artifact featured in Claudia's flashback. **

**Disclaimer:** According to unnamed sources there is an artifact located in Warehouse 13 that will give me the rights to the show. So until I manage to break into the warehouse and escape with the artifact unharmed I will continue to own nothing but the idea for this story.

Outside of Warehouse 13 the storm started by Thor's Hammer continued to rage. Every few seconds a bolt of lightning would shoot out of the clouds and pummel the landscape. Unbeknownst to the warehouse agents a secondary side effect of the artifact would kick in every so often. Somehow several bolts of lightning found there way to a nearby prison striking down several of the prisons worst inmates. All of whom were in for life having committed several heinous crimes and were now being struck down by the artifacts wrath.

Inside the warehouse Claudia and Pete continued wandering in their search of entertaining artifacts. Both were utterly unaware of the fast approaching Myka. Entering the warehouse Myka was unsurprised to see no one in the office. Going out through the open office door she stood on the walkway overlooking the warehouse. As her eyes continually scanned the warehouse's interior for some sign of her two wayward friends she remained absolutely motionless not making a sound. Although she couldn't see them every so often she heard the sound of voices.

As Pete idly looked over one of the very few non dusty warehouse shelves he noticed a standard Marine Corp knife that despite its age looked like a relatively new comer to the warehouse. The only problem was he had no recollection of ever seeing that knife before. As he looked at the screen detailing the information about the knife he saw that it had been checked in by Claudia. Looking over his shoulder he noticed the resident tech geek idly sorting through a couple items on a nearby shelf.

"Hey Claudia where did this come from?" Pete asked as he held the knife up for Claudia to examine.

"Huh…PETE PUT THAT THING DOWN THIS INSTANT!" Claudia screamed out her eyes widening in fright. Moving forward she snatched the knife from Pete's hands and slammed it hard down on the shelf.

"Jeez chill out. It's probably a dud anyway." Pete rolled his eyes at Claudia's reaction wandering why it was such a big deal to her.

"Trust me Pete. That is a legitimate artifact."

"How do you know?"

"Um…" At Pete's question Claudia's thoughts went flying back to her encounter with that particular artifact a week ago.

_Flashback_

The sun was just beginning to break over the horizon and had yet to illuminate the entrance to Warehouse 13. It was the type of morning where the entire world was still and people allowed themselves a few extra minutes in bed even if it was Tuesday. Sadly for Claudia Donovan she didn't have the luxury of staying in bed this morning. Artie had ordered her last night to do a complete inventorying of Section K of the warehouse due to an unfortunate incident where she had used Circe's Wand to change Pete into a ferret.

"But he ate the last cookie." Claudia had protested unsuccessfully to explain her actions. Though it had fallen on deaf ears. Now she was stuck getting up before the crack of dawn for the next two days doing stupid inventorying.

Entering into Artie's office Claudia shook her head at the pile of mail that lay unopened on his desk. Deciding that opening mail was preferable to the tedious task of going through all of Section K's artifacts, which would all be accounted for just like they were the last time she did inventorying a month ago.

Setting her jacket down on a chair she started going through the mail she came across an unmarked packaged addressed to the warehouse from Washington D.C. of all places. Her curiosity raised Claudia decided to open that package first. Opening it she observed what appeared to be a knife wrapped in paper. Upon opening it she discovered it was a note.

'Needed this to get my boat out of the basement.

Don't need it anymore so it's yours.

Enjoy.

G'

"I honestly don't know whether I should be impressed or creped out. The guy can write a cool note, though how he knew to send this here is a mystery. I wonder if this is an artifact or if it's just a hoax. Wouldn't be the first time Doug tried to prank me." Turning the knife over in her hands Claudia hit the release button causing the knife's blade to flip out of the hilt.

As the blade freed itself from its holder it glowed with an eerie blue light before firing off a blast of energy directly at the techno girl.

With a cry of shock and surprise Claudia dropped the knife. In a panic she hurried over to the suit of armor guarding the warehouse door intently examining her reflection to ensure nothing untoward had occurred. Satisfied that she still looked the same Claudia gave a sigh of relief before wincing in pain.

Looking down she was scared to see her favorite T-shirt and the rest of her wardrobe rapidly shrinking. "No, no, no don't do this. Not now." She cried out as she desperately tried to pull her shirt back down to cover her now bared midriff. "Ow…to tight, way to tight." Claudia cried out as her jeans became more suitable for a child.

With several loud tears and rips Claudia's clothing finally failed and lay on the floor in pieces. Leaving the redheaded teen with nothing to cover herself with. With an annoyed groan she picked up a piece of her former favorite T-shirt, now more suited for a Barbie doll, had it not been in pieces, with a huff she threw it back down on the ground. As she racked her brain trying to decide how best to handle this new situation the tell tale sounds of the warehouse's door unlocking drifted to her ear.

In a blind panic Claudia's eyes roved over the empty office trying to locate something with which to cover herself. Her eyes settling on her favorite jean jacket she grabbed hold of it and just managed to cover herself with it just as the door opened admitting Artie.

"Artie I know what this looks like, but I have a perfectly good excuse." Claudia began, her face as bright red as her hair, as she held her jacket closed tight on her upper body and hid behind the table to cover her lower half.

_End Flashback_

"I'd rather not talk about it." Claudia stated her face slightly less red than it had been when she'd almost flashed poor Artie.

Shrugging Pete continued to look through the shelves and spotted an artifact that made him smile. Grinning he picked the small camera up off the shelf and turned to face Claudia. "Hey Claudia say cheese."

"Huh?" Turning she was somewhat blinded by the camera's flash.

"Oh now this is an interesting photo." Smiling broadly Pete held up the camera displaying a picture of Claudia biting her thumb while fast asleep. The extra humiliation for the teen coming from the fact that it was readily apparent that the picture was not to old since her room at the bed and breakfast was easily visible in the photo.

"Give me that or else!" Claudia cried out as she tried to snatch the camera from Pete's hands.

A/N: Yeah I know lousy place to stop, but please understand that my back has been killing me all day and I need to rest it a bit. Plus I need to make plans and do some work on the Claudia/Fargo stories that I have in the works. Anyway please review and feel free to give suggestions for artifacts and I'll be glad to put them in. Oh and before I forget I have a new poll up so feel free to vote on who your favorite Warehouse 13 character is. And remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** "Seshin here InuGhost2.0 is too busy sulking to do the opening this week."

"I'm not sulking! I'm just having trouble accepting how insane your luck is at times." Is heard from behind her somewhere.

Rolling her eyes Seshin continues "He's just unhappy that I found a coffee house called Café Diem like the one Vincent runs in Eureka. That and the fact so many people correctly guessed the owner of the shrinking artifact."

"Teaches me to go with the only guy in television history to be building a bleeding boat in his basement." InuGhost2.0 laments. "Anyway congratulations to 'StayThisYoungForever', 'Yiyi', 'angelbear', 'ree', and 'Waterfall Unicorn' for correctly guessing Gibbs as owning that artifact.

**Disclaimer: **Aside from my dream last night where there was a small stack of letters addressed to me at Warehouse 13, I do not own or have any association with the show.

"Are you going to give me the photo now?" Claudia asked through gritted teeth as she twisted Pete's arm further back.

"Alright I give. I give. Let go of my arm now." Pete hurriedly cried out his eyes squinted closed from the pain of having his arm twisted into an unnatural position. Relaxing his fist the crumpled photo dropped from it falling to the ground. It wasn't till Claudia had picked it up and stuffed it into her jeans pocket before she finally released Pete's tortured arm and got up off the agent.

Gingerly sitting upright Pete gently rubbed at his arm and shoulder working to restore circulation and ease away the already fading pain. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

Claudia caught the undertones in Pete's voice and had to smile at how impressed he sounded. "I grew up with an older brother remember. One of the first things Joshua taught me was how to defend myself. Sure I'm not as good as you and Myka, but I can usually handle myself against the usual troublemakers."

"I can see why." With a small groan Pete got to his feet with the aid of a nearby shelf. Back on his feet he caught a glimpse of the description for a nearby artifact and had to take a look. "Fourth wall destroyer." He read aloud puzzled as to exactly what the artifact did and why it was in here in the first place.

"Now that looks cool." Looking over Pete's shoulder Claudia was entranced by the sight of the strange artifact. Inside a small glass cylinder gasses comprising every color of the rainbow danced and weaved around each other within their confined space. There was no sign of any device inside the cylinder that was producing the colorful gasses nor was there any explanation for why the gasses remained separate and refused to mix together or dissipate. Curious she maneuvered around Pete and let her fingers brush against the surface of the artifact. It was cool to the touch which slightly surprised her considering the hot weather the area had been experiencing for the last week and a half. Even the snow globe she kept on her tool belt was at the ambient temperature of the warehouse. So why was this one artifact chillier?

"Claudia maybe we shouldn't mess with this one." Pete nervously said. "I'm getting a vibe and I think it's coming from it."

"No harm ever came from just holding an artifact." Claudia countered pulling out a pair of purple gloves and pulling them on.

"The same thing could be said about reading a book, and you saw what happened in that movie last night."

"Tell you what Pete. If by some chance this little artifact brings some evil Egyptian priest back from the dead whose hell-bent on resurrecting his dead lover then you can say 'I told you so'." Picking up the artifact Claudia was somewhat surprised at how heavy it was despite its small size.

The moment Claudia picked up the artifact there was a loud creaking noise behind Pete. Looking behind him the Secret Service agent was horrified to discover that the shelf behind him was falling towards him and Claudia. "Claudia look out!" Sprinting forward he grabbed her around the waist and propelled her out of harms way.

With a loud crash the shelf hit the ground throwing a cloud of dust into the air. Several smaller crashes followed as the artifacts that had been placed on the shelf scattered across the warehouse floor in an unorganized fashion.

Looking at the disaster Claudia inadvertently caused the warehouse agent and apprentice were unprepared for the sight behind where the shelf had stood. In that area there was no sign of the rest of the warehouse. The endless aisles and shelves of the warehouse were nowhere in sight. Instead a small group of people behind various cameras, lights and microphones filled the space. Especially disturbing to Claudia was the sight of a guy, looking strikingly similar to Artie, a donut clutched in his hand as he stared wide eyed at them. Had she not known her boss was long gone on vacation Claudia would have panicked or at least started blabbing a long list of various excuses.

For several long seconds no one said a thing or even moved as they all waited for someone else to decide how to proceed. Finally a guy situated in a chair picked up a megaphone that was set nearby and calmly said. "Allison put the artifact back on the shelf."

Puzzled Claudia and Pete looked at each other uncertain of who the guy was talking to.

"Idiot." The guy muttered as he smacked himself in the back of the head before holding the megaphone back up. "I meant to say…Claudia put the artifact back this instant."

"Uh….yeah…sure." She hesitantly replied before quickly putting the artifact back. In an instant the people were gone and the warehouses endless aisles were restored.

"Well…that was certainly different." Pete idly commented as he watched Claudia pull a piece of paper out of her pocket and hastily scribble 'Do Not Touch' before placing it beside the artifact. "So Claudia what should we cheAAH!" Crying out Pete fell to the ground twitching violently.

"Damn knew I should have charged it up before I left." Disgusted Myka tossed the powerless Tesla to the ground. Guess I'll just have to make you pay the old fashion way." She concluded with a rather evil smile on her face as she slowly advanced on the fallen agent.

"Myka what are you doing!" Claudia exclaimed as she knelt beside Pete making sure the still conscious agent was alright.

"Stay out of this Claudia. It is high time Pete paid for everything he's done to me. Getting me transferred out to this hell hole. Screwing around with Lewis Carroll's mirror leading me to being trapped in it for a day while also costing me one of my best dresses. Getting himself caught by H.G. Wells which led to the two of us stuck to the ceiling."

"Whoa ok Myka you really need to calm down." Claudia began slightly put off by the somewhat crazy look in Myka's eyes along with how she had gotten louder the longer she ranted about Pete.

**A/N: **And once again I stop at a point where I likely shouldn't have. Sorry readers, but with school having started I am likely to have less time to write. Though don't worry I will continue this and 'In Comforting Arms'. At least provided my sanity holds up, which judging from the above chapter might not be too much longer. Anyway feel free to give me ideas for artifacts and suggestions. And remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: "**Seshin here again. Inu's currently buried under homework and as such can't do the opening this week."

A muffled groan is heard emitting from a large pile of papers that shift around every so often.

"So till I either choose to unbury him, or he gets caught up he'll be remaining there." She grins rather evilly for a moment. "Though I honestly don't mind having run of the place and getting to mess around with his guests. So enjoy the latest chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing that appears in this, aside from some ideas about the artifacts. If I did own Warehouse 13 then H.G. Wells would either be trying to burn down/destroy Warehouse 13, or trying to figure out how to get back to her own time while taking Dr. Grant (Eureka) with her.

Claudia was scared. The crazy look in Myka's eyes along with the gun she was currently pointing at Pete was well beyond normal for the normally straight-laced Warehouse Agent. While this was far from the first time she had been involved in a dangerous situation she had always found someway out of it. Yet right now when everything depended on her Claudia's mind was drawing a blank. Fresh out of ideas her eyes scanned the shelves of the warehouse looking for something she could use to escape with Pete.

"Pete you are finally going to pay for all the pain and suffering you have caused me and everyone else. Today justice will be served against you." The look in Myka's eyes was on of desperation and mild insanity. Seeing that look reminded Claudia of what she had been like when she had kidnapped Artie in an effort to save her brother Joshua.

Deciding the best course of action was to escape Claudia threw herself hard against the shelf beside her.

Creaking ominously the shelf rocked backwards several inches before rocking back to its original position. With normal shelves that would have been the end of it. Yet several large cracks and splits began racing along the entirety of the shelf thanks to the years of neglect and abuse it had endured over the long history of the warehouse. While Artie and Claudia had been focused on keeping the artifacts safe and maintained little thought had been given for the shelves that housed the artifacts. Now after years of bearing the heavy weight of the artifacts and in dire need of repair the shelf gave up the ghost. With a loud crack the shelf broke sending a torrent of artifacts tumbling down on top of the trio.

Several moments passed as the artifacts came to a rest. After what seemed like an eternity several loud groans were heard emitting from the pile as the artifacts began shifting around once more. "Gah. Ok that wasn't one of my better ideas." Claudia groaned as she pulled herself free. "Come on Pete we need to go before Myka extracts herself." Reaching down she grabbed hold of the man's arm and pulled him out before wrapping his arm over her shoulder and helping him to escape.

'Ok. Now I'm mad.' Myka thought as she fought to escape from the artifact pile. Thankfully for Claudia and Pete the enraged agent had lost her gun amongst all the artifacts. Yet she still had a couple of artifacts on her person that she carried in the event of emergency. Deciding now was as good of a time as any she pulled a belt out of the fanny pack strapped around her waist. Cinching it around her waist Myka felt energy surge through her body strengthening her and gifting her with more martial arts knowledge.

**With Pete and Claudia**

"Thanks for the saving me back there Claudia."

"Anytime Pete. Listen it is probably best that you hide while I deal with Myka."

"No way Claudia. I'll be fine." Pete tried to stand but quickly fell back to the ground as he was still too weak from the earlier Tesla blast.

"Yeah you are perfectly fine Pete." Claudia rolled her eyes as she saw a pair of glasses on a nearby shelf. "Ah these will help." She happily exclaimed as she grabbed them. "Here put these on."

"Claudia really I look horrible in glasses." Pete protested to no avail.

"There now there is no chance of Myka recognizing you." Claudia declared proudly as she mentally patted herself on the back for making use of Clark Kent's glasses.

"Are you sure these will work?"

"Trust me Pete. That artifact ensures that no one will recognize you. Well aside for the two of us. Now listen you stay here and remain hidden. I'll try and figure out what's wrong with Myka." Claudia finished as she got up and headed back into the depths of the warehouse in search of Myka.

**A/N: **I know far from my best chapter, but sadly I have some papers that I have to write which is stifling my creativity. Hopefully next weeks chapter will be much better and more than make up for the recent crummy one. Anyway feel free to give me ideas for artifacts and remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: InuGhost2.0 here, at least temporarily, school is just as much of a pain as usual. Even more so since I caught this annoying cold. Figured I'd get this chapter done and posted before tonight's episode lest it be null and voided if they decide to kill of Claudia, which I think would be a major bad idea. Personally I'm hedging my bets on Wells, it would be a good way to let her bow out as a heroine, though it may just as easily be Myka or Ms. Frederick. Heck I'm even wondering if it's Valda, it did appear as though he might be in this thanks to the preview though maybe my cold is screwing with my head worse than I thought, guess we'll have to wait and see.

**Disclaimer: **Seriously I do not own anything that appears in this**. **Nor will I ever since that wishing kettle keeps creating ferrets whenever I wish to own anything.

Knowing that she did not stand much of a chance against Myka in a fair fight Claudia found herself wandering into the warehouse aisle where artifacts that enhanced a person's natural strength and abilities were stored. Looking through the wide range of artifacts she was disappointed to find that very few of them would function without causing permanent damage to the wearer. For five long minutes she scoured the shelves pulling various artifacts down before returning them to their spots as she sought out the few that would give her the best chance against Myka and whatever artifact induced madness had her in its grasp. Her eyes lingered briefly upon Moses' staff, capable of splitting objects in two, but decided it was best to not bring out the big guns.

Just as Claudia was about to give up hope her eyes fell upon an artifact hidden behind two others. Pushing the other artifacts aside Claudia picked up the simple black belt, the type associated with martial arts, nervously she bit her lip as she debated whether or not to use the artifact. Sighing she looked at the readout of the artifact and felt her hope soar. 'Bruce Wayne's Black Belt. Grants the wearer expertise in all forms of martial arts.' "Now this will certainly be useful." Grinning she quickly ties the belt around her waist and continues searching the shelves before coming across a simple black mask.

"The mask of Don de la Vega." Claudia read aloud intrigued. "Imparts expert swordsman skills upon the wearer along with increased: strength, stamina, speed, agility, and cunning. Warning: can lead to the wearer putting the needs of the many before their own, and may cause them to lose everything they hold dear if worn for too long." Rolling her eyes skyward at the rather lame warning, probably written by Artie she figured, none the less she felt that it could prove useful and took it off the shelf also.

"Right then. Off to fun times and adventure." Claudia sarcastically says as she heads back towards where she last saw Myka.

**With Pete**

After Claudia had left Pete felt some of his strength returning. Feeling slightly better he decided it was best to heed Claudia's warning and to head for Artie's office. At least there he could hide from Myka, and protect himself if he saw her coming. He started wandering in the direction he thought the office was. Somehow instead of Artie's office Pete finds himself back in a familiar area. Looking around he spots the Studio 57 disco ball and sees the spot where Lewis Carroll's Mirror once stood. At least he knew where he was now, though most importantly he knew of at least one artifact in the immediate vicinity he could have fun with. With a mischievous chuckle he takes a pair of X-Ray glasses off the shelf and eagerly runs off towards Artie's office and safety.

**With Myka**

The Secret Service agent was royally ticked off by this point. Just when she had Pete within her sights Claudia had to go and interfere. Now the both of them would suffer from Myka's wrath once she found them. There was no way she was going to allow them to humiliate and embarrass her like this. As she started storming down another aisle Myka felt something hit her hard in the back of the head. Growling she turned and venomously glared at a smirking Claudia.

"Looking for me?" Claudia asked with laughter in her voice as she idly juggled a tennis ball in one of her hands.

"You'll pay for that!" Myka screamed as she flew at Claudia enraged beyond her normal docile self.

**A/N: **That's it for this chapter. Next will be the fight between Claudia and Myka. So feel free to place your bets on which one will triumph. Also before I forget the poll I currently have up, about favorite Warehouse 13 character, will close next week before the season finale. At the moment H.G. Wells, Artie and Claudia currently hold the top three spots, though not in that order. So anyway if you want to vote best do it before the poll closes and remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** A heated argument is taking place off-screen. What is being said cannot be determined, but it appears to be important considering how loud the people's voices are getting. Finally someone is heard yelling "Just go do it!"

Immediately afterwards Claudia Donovan stumbles into view. Shooting a glare offset she turns to the camera and smiles. "Claudia here. The Author would do the opening, but he's being a coward since he's got a bunch of zombies hunting him on campus this week."

"It's not cowardly. It's strategy!"

"Yeah whatever." Claudia rolls her eyes at the cowardly author and sticks her tongue out at him before thumbing her nose at him for good measure. "Long story short he's too busy hiding to come out. Though he will pop up for the end note since he's announcing who the readers' favorite Warehouse 13 character is. He also wanted me to tell you that he sucks at writing action/battle scenes so he apologizes in advance if my fight against Myka isn't what you were hoping to see."

**Disclaimer: **The author still does not own anything that appears in this. Seriously at this rate I'd have better luck hacking South Dakota's power grid, from Switzerland, and shutting it down in the right places in the warehouse to spell out 'Knock Knock' then I do of ever owning the rights to the show.

_Claudia_ nimbly dodged Myka's first attack. Once the Warehouse agent was past her Claudia wound up and hurtled the tennis ball, she was holding, at the back of the woman's head and managed to score a direct hit.

A barely audible growl escaped the woman and she slowly turned and gave the teen a venomous look. Her nostrils flaring she charged at the teen again feinting an attack at the girl's face. As she watched Claudia maneuver around her first attack Myka slammed her free fist into the redhead's diaphragm knocking the wind right out of her.

Grunting in pain Claudia grabbed hold of Myka's fist and pulled her hard towards her. Using this momentum she brought her knee up and drove it deep into the agent's gut. Then taking advantage of the moment she delivered a vicious head-butt causing them both to see stars.

Roaring in anger Myka spun around and executed a perfect roundhouse kick which sent Claudia flying backwards into a shelf. The teen impacted against the shelf so hard it creaked ominously before toppling over backwards with a loud crash sending a cloud of dust into the air.

The dust hovering in the air managed to obscure the sight of both combatants who took this opportunity to try and recover from the damage they had received.

"Myka you're not acting like yourself. You're obviously under the influence of an artifact. Let me help you, and we can get you back to your fun loving self." Claudia called out as she cradled her injury. She wasn't certain, but it felt as though Myka might have busted a couple of her ribs. If this kept up then she might be in some real pain later.

"Shut up Claudia. There is nothing wrong with me. I've just finally opened my eyes and seen the reality of this situation. You, Pete, Artie, even Mrs. Frederic are all out to ruin my life. Ever since the lot of you came into it I've had to deal with cleaning up your mistakes and other people's problems. This is not what I originally signed up for. And I know. The only way I'm going to get my old job back is by making sure the rest of you are no longer around to screw it up!" All rationality had left the Secret Service agent by this point and what she had said chilled Claudia to her core.

**Agent Latimer**

Pete wandered around the warehouse trying to find his way back to Artie's office. Somehow he had managed to get turned around and had found himself at the Gooery and was now trying to find another familiar location so he could hopefully get his bearings.

"Would it kill Artie to put up road signs or possibly a map? Even a 'You are here' sign would be useful at this point." He lamented as he took a moment to rest. An ominous rumbling and loud crash filled the warehouse at that moment as Pete sighed. 'Guess they're still going at it. Hopefully Claudia can stop Myka before she does anything to rash.'

His break over Pete got back to his feet. As he looked at down the various aisles trying to decide which path to take he noticed a nearby door which attracted his attention.

'Fan Room'. 'What the heck is a fan room?' He wondered. Going over he tentatively opened the door only to be greeted by loud screaming. Before he could react several female hands reached out through the open doorway and grabbed hold of him. With unexpected strength they yanked the poor agent through the door as he was crying out in fear. Once he was fully in the room the door closed silently behind him cutting off his remaining cries.

For several long minutes silence filled the warehouse broken only by loud bangs against the closed 'Fan Room' door. Finally with obnoxious screeching on a level equal to fingernails on a chalkboard the door opened slightly. Red faced and panting from exertion Pete managed to squeeze out through the tiny gap even as hands reached out in vain to try and pull him back in. Once clear of the door he leaned his entire weight against it trying to force it closed. As several of the hands attempted to force the door back open a couple of them attempted to reach around the door and regain contact with the agent. With a sickening rip, one of the hands managed to locate him and proceeded to rip the shirt right off of him. As it snaked back behind the door Pete finally managed to close the door cutting of the cries of disappointment from the people inside. Face red and chest heaving Pete leaned back against the door as he slid to the floor exhausted winching slightly as his pinched sore bum made contact with the ground. Several different shades of lipstick ran the entire length of the male agent's body, all of which appear to have been received from kisses. Several of the marks were strategically situated around his lips and neck and even now he was desperately trying to wipe the lipstick off even as he walked away from the door.

"What the Hell is such a dangerous artifact doing sitting out in the open like that? That thing should be locked away in the Dark Vault, or at least the Escher Vault."

**Back at the battle site**

With a loud metallic clang Myka brought her sword crashing down atop the one Claudia was holding. The teen grimaced as the forced reverberated through the sword's entire length and shook her arms hard. Grateful that she had put on Don de la Vega's mask Claudia managed to push back against Myka and gracefully rose to her feet. "Give it up Myka. I'm not going to let you hurt Pete or anyone else."

"Who do you think you are, Artie? God you've become so much like him. He's tainting and destroying all of you. Seems I'm the only one who even realizes it." Myka muttered darkly as she charged at Claudia again. With both hands gripping the hilt of Excalibur she brought it crashing down upon the smaller teen and inwardly rejoiced as she delivered a deep cut to the girl's arm.

With speed she did not know she possessed Claudia took advantage of Myka's attack and slipped inside the other woman's reach. With a couple kick slashes of her sword Claudia succeeded in her task and leapt backwards away from the other woman's sword as she took a moment to admire her handiwork.

An expertly carved 'C' 'D' now resides on Myka's once pristine blouse. As the secret service agent looks down at her ruined blouse she feels her rage reach new heights. "Ok." She began icily "Now you're just begging to die Donovan. Hold still and I'll grant your request!"

Diving to the ground Claudia barely managed to dodge Myka's latest slash. As she rolled along the floor away from the agent's increasingly close strikes Claudia racked her brain for a solution. As a shower of sparks soared into the air from Myka's latest ground penetrating slice the answer finally hit Claudia like a ton of bricks. With a swift kick she managed to knock the blade from Myka's hands and took off running down the warehouse aisle in search of a neutralizer outlet.

**A/N: And that is where I'll be ending it for now. Though don't worry I'll wrap up their little fight next week, and get back to the comedy. Oh and for those who don't get the reference of Claudia carving her initials in Myka's shirt, she's using an artifact belonging to a swordsman who enjoyed carving a Z into his opponents. But enough about that lets take a look at the results from my latest poll.**

"**Coming in at number 8 we have the proprietor of the Bed and Breakfast herself…Leena. Tied for 6****th**** and 7****th**** place we have the British bad boy himself and the former ninja herself (At least according to 'Question and Answer' which is hilarious) MacPherson and Mrs. Frederic. "**

"**In 5****th**** we have agent Myka Bearing followed by her partner Pete who came in 4****th****."**

"**What! How did he place higher than me!" Myka cries out.**

**A drumroll starts courtesy of Claudia with 'Ringo Star's drumsticks' "In 3****rd**** place…the original bad ass Britain, and Myka's possible secret lover (Judging from several stories) Helena G. Wells. And now the moment you've been waiting for. Coming in 2****nd**** with tech knowledge equal to no other…Artie Nielson. Leaving in 1****st**** place the teen who numerous guys and girls drool over…Claudia Donovan!" Thank you to all that participated in this poll.**


	9. Chapter 9

Improper Artifact Use for Fun and Entertainment ch 9

By: InuGhost2.0

10/12/10

**A/N: **Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter up. What with dealing with midterm tests and paper writing I didn't have a lot of time to write. So thanks to those who've been patient and still want to read this and review.

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing that appears in this. I did come close to getting hold of the rights, but it turns out Voodoo Dolls only work half the time. Something about free will screws up their abilities.**

'Please let this work' Claudia desperately thought as she spotted a Neutralizer dispenser. Her chest burned as she struggled to continue running regardless of her fatigue. Pushing herself harder Claudia cried out in glee as she grabbed hold of the hose and spun around. "Eat Neutralizer Myka!" She cried out unleashing a torrent of the purple goo at the crazed agent.

Unable to react in time Myka was hit full blast by the tidal wave of Neutralizer. The force of the blast bore her to the ground and sent Excalibur flying back down one of the warehouse's endless aisles. Try as she might Myka could not regain her footing thanks to the inherent slipperiness of the Neutralizer. Crying out in frustration the Agent started to crawl her way towards the teenager. A look of determination and blind rage encompassing her normally passive face made all the creepier by her reddish-orange eyes.

"Oh crap!" Claudia recognized those eyes all too well. Hours spent playing the 'Resident Evil' series had familiarized her with those eyes. Admittedly she had been shocked to discover the man's belt actually existed and gifted the wearer with almost superhuman: speed, agility, strength, and endurance though at the cost of their humanity. How it had ended up in Myka's procession, much less why the agent would be ignorant/desperate enough to use it, was a question best answered later.

Having bought herself some time Claudia mentally ran through a list of various artifacts that were capable of healing a person. The gash in her side was still bleeding profusely and even standing still Claudia was beginning to feel lightheaded. 'Come on Claudia think…there's one artifact that can solve this problem…now what was it!'

**Flashback**

"Geeze Artie ever think of hiring a maid to dust around here? Some of this stuff looks like it hasn't been cleaned or maintained since the French Revolution." Running her finger along one of the warehouse shelves Claudia was unsurprised when it came back completely black.

"Claudia it is not that dirty in here." Artie protested as he set a heavy box down onto the floor of the warehouse.

"Artie she's got a point. I'm not even allergic to dust, and yet it still feels like I'm going to suffocate here at times from the amount of it flying around. So it's not like this place couldn't stand a good cleaning every once in a while. Besides what's the worst that could happen?"

Spinning round Artie gave the Secret Service agent a glare. "The last time someone tried to clean all the artifacts it led to the Great Chicago fire. Before that London burned to the ground, and before that well…let's just say Nero was unfairly blamed for that ragging inferno." Pushing his glasses back up Artie picked his box back up, signaling the conversation was over, and continued down the aisle searching for an open space to place it on.

"Myka you might be a little careful talking about dirt around Artie. Unless you want to add to our workload." Claudia cautioned the older agent. As she looked at artifacts gathered from around the time of the Roman Empire her eyes fell on a strange looking lyre. "Ancient guitar cool." Looking over Claudia read the artifacts description aloud.

"Apollo's Lyre. Capable of healing all those who hear its soothing melody."

**End of Flashback**

"That's it! I might have spared your life earlier Claudia, but now I'm through playing around. You, Pete, Artie, and even Mrs. Frederic are going to die! You will all pay for the humiliation, pain and suffering I have been forced to endure while doing this lousy job!" Rational thought had fled Myka by this point and the only emotion she now felt was uncontrollable rage.

Myka was near the edge of the Neutralizer spill. Grabbing the hose Claudia blasted the agent once more sending her sliding back several feet. 'That won't delay her long enough for me to reach the Lyre in my present condition. I need something to give me a boost of energy.' Scanning the shelves in near desperation her eyes landed on a plain white lab coat.

Initially hesitant about using it, the incident with Volta's lab coat still horrifyingly fresh in her mind, Claudia knew she had no choice. Checking the monitor she was somewhat displeased that parts of it were obscured thanks to splash back from the Neutralizer hose.

'…_Sciuto's lab coat. …extra energy…trouble sleeping…use with caution.'_

"Good enough for me." Yanking the coat off the shelf Claudia pulled it on.

Instantly she felt new energy surge through her body. She had never felt this wired before in her life. A double shot of espresso would only give her a fraction of the energy she felt at the moment. A cheerful giggle escaped her as she began literally bouncing up and down where she stood. ".!"

(**Translation**: Wow this is so cool. I feel like I can do anything right now. I wonder if Artie will let me keep this when he gets back! ) (A/N: To make things easier Claudia's speech will now be automatically translated for reader enjoyment)

"Crud I'm still bleeding. I'd better get to that Lyre."

Racing off at a speed that would put the Road Runner to shame, Claudia quickly located Apollo's Lyre and was back near Myka before the enraged agent could make it five feet.

Still twitching from the excessive energy running through her body Claudia took a deep breath in an effort to calm down. When that utterly failed she resolved to solve the problem of her injury first, along with Myka's state of mind, then deal with her energy problem. As her fingers ran gently over the lyre's strings a soothing melody began filling the immediate area.

**Five Minutes Later**

"Ow my head. What on Earth happened?" Myka groaned as she sat up and clutched at her head. The warehouse agent was in mild pain from the headache she felt building behind her eyes.

"You went psychotic for a while there Myka. You were wanting to kill me and Pete for some reason, but you should be fine now." Claudia commented from her splayed position on the ground. The redhead had collapsed the minute she had taken the lab coat off. Her body felt as though she had just gotten done running a marathon and wanted nothing more than to pass out at the moment and rest.

"Psychotic. I don't remember that. Ugh…I'll take your word for it though. I can't recall the last couple hours." Shakily getting to her feet Myka carefully made her way over to the tech genius and helped her to her feet. "What do you say we head back to the Bed and Breakfast and call it a night?"

"Sounds fine to me. I'm ready for a break. I can continue scavenging this place tomorrow." Claudia replied as she threw an arm over the other woman's shoulder.

As the two began their long journey back to Artie's office a loud beastly roar reverberated throughout the warehouse. Artifacts of various sizes and weights violently vibrated on their shelves, and more than a few went crashing to the ground. The two women looked at each other in fear wondering what the source was for the monstrous scream. The answer came to both of them at the same time and with fear in their voices they spoke aloud "Pete."

**Three minutes ago with Pete**

Pete was not certain what it was about the artifact that entranced him. Maybe it was the faint glow its petals emitted. Perhaps it was how vibrant and alive it looked even underneath its glass case. The way it slowly turned while suspended in midair with nothing holding it up. Or maybe it was the large neon sign beside it that read 'Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve's rose. Do Not Touch Under Any Circumstances. This especially goes for Claudia and Pete!'

Regardless of whatever it was that fascinated him so about the rose Pete felt the strong desire to hold it in his hands. Slightly shaking from excitement Pete carefully removes the glass case and set it gently down on the floor. With baited breath he slowly stretched out his right hand towards the red rose and touched it.

In that moment a large red flash enveloped the area. Pete would have screamed if he were still capable at this point, but alas he could not. A feeling of power raced through his body and he felt his muscles expand with new found strength. Accompanying this strength he gained several inches in height even as hair erupted across his entire body making him look like a hairy beast.

As his nails turned into claws and his teeth to fangs Pete Lattimer completed his transformation into a Beast. Growling low he sniffed the air detecting the scent of two intruders into his domain. Intruders that he felt the need to deal with. Rearing his head back he gave a beastly roar as he set off in the direction of the intruders.

**A/N: **Well that's one problem taken care of. Now we'll get to see how the two ladies deal with this new Pete. (Chuckles) Anyway feel free to give ideas/suggestions about artifacts the agents could find during their journey through the warehouse along with how Claudia and Myka might deal with Pete. So please review and remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	10. Chapter 10

Date: 10/19/10

**Disclaimer: **Considering that nothing has changed since last week you can rest assured that I still own absolutely nothing that appears in this. Besides if I did own anything I'd be using artifacts to write my papers and do all my homework by this point.

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. The various reviews and ideas were more than a little helpful. Anyway I have a small question for you the readers. As 'Restless Goddess' can attest I've been trying to decide who should be responsible for Pete changing back Myka or Kelly? Both have the potential for being quite entertaining, and I could simply write two different versions, but I wanted to get reader input before I made my decision. So if you can let me know your opinion on the matter I'd more than appreciate it.

"This is not good." Taking a step backwards so that her back was against a shelf Myka looked around nervously trying to pinpoint where that beastly roar had come from.

"Any suggestions for how we should deal with him? Because by the sounds of it an artifact has gotten hold of him and made him way more dangerous then you were."

"I'm not comCLAUDIA LOOK OUT!" Rushing forward Myka grabbed hold of the younger girl and tackled her to the ground just as a large hairy fist exploded through the shelf where the teen's head had been only seconds before.

Extracting her gun from its holster, somehow in her madness induced state she had forgotten she had it, Myka fired off a few rounds at where the beast had been. She knew it was a futile effort, he was long gone by now, but it gave her some courage.

"Thanks Myka. Another second and I would have been laid out cold." Swallowing nervously Claudia examined the hole in the shelf and was slightly disturbed to realize she likely could fit her entire body through it, provided she scrunched up enough.

Looking down the aisle the older Secret Service agent easily spotted a large humanoid shape enter the aisle. "Don't thank me just yet; we're not out of the woods just yet." Rising to her feet Myka put herself between Claudia and the beastly Pete as she raised her gun taking aim.

In the Warehouse's light Pete made a rather intimidating sight. Seemingly straight out of 'Beauty and the Beast' (Author is working on maximum 4 hours of sleep so forgive him if he doesn't go into major detail) the only difference being the broken glasses that dangled from one of his ears, and the lack of any shirt or cape along with an unbroken pair of glasses that loosely dangled from his belt. Tucked inside the waistband of his pants a red rose, glowing with a strange light, continued to rotate within its confines.

"Pete is that you?" Looking over Myka's shoulder the tech genius was taken aback by Pete's monstrous visage. In response to her question a low growl issued forth from Pete and he took a determined stride forward.

"Claudia listen to me carefully. I have an escape plan."

Keeping one eye on the beast Myka quickly outlined her plan to the redhead. While relatively simple it would require somewhat precise timing on the teen's part if the Secret Service agent was to avoid serious injury. With an imperceptible nod between the two women Myka rushed at Pete, who did not know what to make of the small defenseless human running at him yelling.

With the distraction Myka was providing Claudia went quickly to a nearby warehouse shelf and grabbed an old quill pen from the dusty shelf. Gritting her teeth Claudia slashed open the palm of her right hand with the pen. A small cry of pain escaped her as the pen quickly absorbed the blood offering and activated.

For a moment a dark reddish/purplish haze encompassed the pen before turning completely black and expanding to absorb the frightened yet determined teen in its black aura. Even with her eyes squeezed shut from the sharp stabbing pain felt across her entire body Claudia could tell that it had somehow gotten darker in Warehouse 13. Indeed the dark artifact was trying to extinguish all light in the large building; it operated best in pitch blackness and had a distinct hatred from the Light. Internally the artifact debated if it should grant the redheaded teen its dark power, her strength of will alone perceived as a threat since she was one of only a handful who could resist its dark influence. Ultimately the decision was taken from its hands as the teenager painfully gasp out "Damn it. Just do it already before I break you over my knee."

This time a much louder scream escaped the teen as she felt her body try to reject the changes inflicted upon it by the pen. In the span of several painful breaths Claudia felt her racing heart being to slow down. Slower and slower her heart beat until finally settling upon a pace imperceptible to any doctor trying to take her pulse. At the same time her canine teeth painfully itched as they gained several inches and became razor sharp. 'Come on Claudia you can handle this. If you don't then neither you nor Myka might survive this.' Taking a deep breath, even though it was no longer necessary for her at this point, she gripped the old pen tighter as newfound energy filled her exhausted body. This energy came with a price however as Claudia felt a growing thirst take her in its icy grip. It began as a dry tickle at the back of her throat, one that could easily be ignored, but oh so quickly it grew and grew till she felt that she would die of thirst. A desire to alleviate this thirst began to fill her. 'A mouthful, less than a mouthful, even a tiny drop will do. Myka could spare me that much can't she? NO! Don't even start thinking that. Remember what Myka said. If I give in then I'll be lost and can never turn back. 'But,' a quiet voice spoke up 'would it be so bad?'

"Claudia!"

The loud cry jerked the former pure human from her thoughts as she saw Pete deliver a nasty swipe across Myka's stomach. His claws easily opened up her flesh and blood began to slowly trickle from the wounds.

Her eyes widening in fear Claudia rushes to her friend's aid. At the sight of Pete bending over the fallen woman Claudia felt herself infused with anger. Reaching the duo she drew her fist back and delivered a vicious left hook to the beast.

With a grunt of surprise Pete was sent sliding back several feet. Narrowing his eyes the beast glared at the girl before him. Her scent had changed it was no longer completely human. Deciding retreat was the best option at the moment the beast turned facing one of the many walls of the warehouse. Rearing his fist back he slammed it into the wall and punched a hole through it which he quickly widened. Roaring loudly once more he took off running into the night in the direction of a nearby town. He could not remember how he knew it was in this direction, but he was certain that civilization lay that way.

**Back with Myka and Claudia**

"Are you alright Myka?" Claudia asked while facing away from her friend. At the moment she did not fully trust herself. The smell of Myka's blood was already tempting her enough and she feared that the sight of it would be too much for her to handle.

"I'll be fine Claudia." Wincing as she sat up Myka pressed a hand to her wounds. She had gotten lucky; while somewhat deep the wounds had already stopped bleeding and would not require stitches. "I could ask you the same thing however. How are you holding up?"

"I'm…I'll be fine." Claudia began hesitantly. "Bram Stoker's pen is more powerful than either of us expected. Though don't worry, I'm the one in control of my actions and not it. Did you notice that rose on him?"

Myka nodded her head. "Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve's rose. If we're going to get Pete back to normal then we're going to need Dr. Doolittle's stethoscope or else we'll never be able to communicate with him. Listen Claudia think you can locate that artifact while I get this wound bandaged and secure us transportation?"

"No problem Myka." Turning Claudia gave her friend a smile. Try as she might though her eyes refused to remain on Myka's face and instead drifted down to the agent's neck. Unconsciously Claudia wet her lips as she fixated on the woman's pulse point. Smiling more openly Claudia took a step towards the injured woman even as her tongue ran over her fangs.

"Claudia stop staring at my neck. You're beginning to creep me out."

It was as if a bucket of cold water was dumped on her. Pulled from her thoughts Claudia blushed in embarrassment at how she'd been looking at her friend. "Sorry Myka I'll try not to let it happen again."

**A/N: That's all for now dear readers. Sorry if this chapter was not up to par, but lack of sleep hurts my mental processes. Anyway I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought of it, and feel free to offer ideas for warehouse artifacts or anything else. And remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.**


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